Sunday 18 July 2010

FUNNY *_@ A website that creates automated scam reply

A Business Reply 
This page is the follow up of our Business Proposal Generator, posted last month. It is arguably more useful, as it lets you easily create responses to send back to the spammers harassing you. (Note how it's nice and long-winded.)*click here to create your own jokes http://bab87co9thy41ey309m15i8l39.hop.clickbank.net/*
Simply paste in their details, and click "Generate". Then, cut and paste the result into a reply email. Who knows... It could be a start of a very lucrative BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP.


Re: Business Proposal
Date: July 18, 2010, 4:01 pm
From: "Your Friend"
To: "John Dough" (Address hidden)


Dear John Dough.
I am replying in regard to the BUSINESS PROPOSAL that you have sent me a couple of days ago.
First of all, I want to relay to you how saddened I am to hear of what has befallen your Father, Dr. Gubwano Mumbasa. While I never heard of him before, as I do not generally keep up to date on the affairs of Nigeria, your letter left me with little doubt that his was a career filled with success and achievements. I'm sure Dr. Mumbasa's plight will find many sympathizers among the honest people of your great nation.
As I have stated, I do not follow the events in your part of the world too closely, but from what I did hear of Nigeria, the events detailed in your letter do not surprise me in the least. It is outrageous that such a horrible injustice can take place at the dawn of the Twenty First century.
But I would like to discuss your proposal. It could not have come at a better time. You see, just last week, I have received a confidential letter from Never-Neverland. It was from a man named Chuichui Todescu, who is the Loyal Servant of Sir Alfonzo Chow, the recently Deceased General in the People's Army of that country.

This man's letter explained how after his Master's death there is a significant amount of money being sought by the Sir Chow's enemies in Never-Neverland. It then went on to ask for my help in moving the money (a total of THREE MILLION - $3000000 U.S. Dollars) out of Never-Neverland and into my account, promising to pay me a percentage of the sum as compensation for my part of the operation.
In his letter, Chuichui Todescu requested complete secrecy, so while I have shared this information with you because you seem to be in a very similar situation, I am sure you will appreciate the need to not share this highly confidential information with any of your other contacts.
I was quite ready to offer Chuichui Todescu my assistance with the transfer his Master's money when I got your letter. You see, I have performed poorly at my job this year, and did not receive a yearly bonus from my employer. Therefore, I believe that if I were to transfer a large amount of money (even as much as TEN MILLION - $10000000 DOLLARS, the amount your are proposing to move), the authorities would simply believe this to be my bonus and it would not raise eyebrows or trigger any red flags.
In truth, initially receiving your letter within mere days after getting Chuichui Todescu's, I was a little skeptical as to the honesty of your claims. However, after thinking about it a lot yesterday, I have come to realise that this is an indicator that the situation in countries like Nigeria and Never-Neverland is much less stable what is portrayed by our government and media. This deception of the masses is outrageous and I for one will write letters to various people demanding it come to a stop.
However, the current situation represents a bit of a dilemma for me. You see, while I would be happy to acommodate you both, I do not want to run the risk of detection by both the Never-Neverland Special Services Branch and their counterpart in Nigeria, as such risk would put all parties in excessive (and in my eyes - unacceptable) jeopardy. So it is after long hours of being torn between caution and compassion to both your causes, that I have decided that I dare risk accepting only one of the offers.
Despite the fact that your offer would yield me greater profit, I firmly believe that in such situations, financial gain must take a back seat in favor of ethics and integrity... Therefore, my decision in this matter has to be made primarily based upon the seriousness of your situation, as well as that of Sir Chow's Loyal Servant. I would appreciate you getting back to me at your earliest convenience to let me know why you, and the estate of your esteemed Father are more worthy of my aid than Sir Alfonzo Chow. Also, in finding me, you have demonstrated that you are a man of many connections, in your own country as well as abroad. If through your associates in the information gathering sphere you come upon any information leading you to believe Chuichui Todescu to be disingenuous or not worthy of my help, I am sure you will relay such information to me with all expedience, as it will greatly benefit your own cause.
I eagerly await to hear back from you with the pertinent information, and would like to assure you that I approach our dealings with all the secrecy and gravity that the situation requires. 

Your Friend. 

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